Another Day, another 10lbs!

Didn’t walk this morning… ugh… alarm went off at 0500… I walked over, turned it off, sat down on the end of my bed… promptly fell over and fell asleep. I woke at 0715. I had managed to pull the blankets down and pile them up to become my pillow. I’ve got some talent in my sleep. Ie: the time I took one of my contacts out… I thought I was dreaming until I woke up missing a contact, only to find it safely in it’s case on my bathroom counter. This is one of the nicer of the stories… Moral? It’s really hard for me to wake up early. I wanted this to be a kick start to my day, but I may need to rethink it considering I’m more nocturnal.

I did, however, manage to weigh myself this morning… sometime over this past weekend I jumped up to 260. Eeeek! I’m consoling myself with my theory on water weight… after all… some website said I needed to drink 142oz of water a day… I made it to 80 last night… making for 3 trips to the loo between 2200-2300… I have a feeling I’m in for an interesting day at work today. Anyone want to say denial?? Me too… I think I like my story for now.

I found an old friends’ blog yesterday. It had a link to her picture page… I found pics of me almost 2 years ago and 50lbs heavier. I had never seen the weight loss… nor really felt it. Looking at those pictures was akin to a jolt. I can’t believe what I was doing to myself, what I continue to do to myself. Even though I lost weight… it wasn’t on purpose. I became a vegetarian and it just sort of happened. Now looking at those pictures I feel like I owe it to myself to do it on purpose this time. I deserve to be treated a certain way right? So why am I expecting it from everyone but myself?

Over half way through my day and already 92oz in… this is insane, I spend more time in the bathroom than working… ok, I’m exaggerating… a lot. You get the idea though, don’t you? I will say this, drinking so much water has helped with my hunger. That and the gum… God, I’m going to be not fat and have TMJ.

I hope everyone else’s day is going swimmingly… I haven’t really picked up readers yet, but I’m hopeful. I could use some support and encouragement in this… As soon as I made the decision, I started craving Taco Bell…. And deep fried fish… and beer, pop, chocolate… pretty much anything bad for me. Figures, I didn’t honestly think my subconscious was going to let me get away with this did I? Of course not… because trying means, ability to fail… and that hurts. So that’s all we have for phsyc 101 today. Guess I’ll talk to myself tomorrow!
Xoxoxox M